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Posts Tagged ‘Anxiety’

(Click any photo to enlarge)

…was spent in Cabo Polonio, Uruguay, population 80 people, 90 diseased dogs, and thousands of fleas.

Above is a photo of our shack, and us waiting outside in the rain for the monster truck to come carry us away. (Little did we know that there wouldn’t be another bus out for six and a half hours.)


(My bedroom)


(The shower…also the bathroom)

Cabo Polonio is first and foremost a beach town, and seeing as it was pretty much raining for the entire time, there wasn’t much to do once we had visited the 6 little vendor stands and climbed the lighthouse (which is not called “casa de luz”, just so you know for future reference). Below you’ll find a view of the entire town…

We spent the better part of the trip sitting in the one open restaurant drinking wine and watching the waves and the rain. Really that’s about all we did in the 18 hours we were there. The people (all three of them) in the restaurant were very nice, and we practiced lots of Spanish, sang some songs, and ate a couple meals there. The waiter even brought me some flan with a candle in it!

Somehow we slept in the icky beds in the icky house (it helped that there was no electricity so we could not see where we were sleeping) and the following morning (my real birthday) we woke up to a drippy roof, and that brings us back to the first photo of this post. We caught the monster truck (here’s a shot of ours from when we first arrived) intending to catch the bus that should have come at 8:40am.

We got the the bus stop, it was pouring rain by then, and waited for a bit. No bus. Nikki and Alison went to ask when the bus would be coming and discovered that since it was raining there would only be one bus…at 3pm…
They asked to use the phone to call a cab to get us into a town. No minutes left on the phone…So they asked to buy a phone card from the little stand next door…”The kiosco won’t be opening today because it’s raining…”
Not taking no for an answer, but ready to kill someone, Alison found an old man to drive us into town in the back of his truck for UY$400 pesos. They assured us there would be more buses leaving from the terminal there in Castillos. Turns out the bus didn’t leave there until 2:45…the same bus we would have caught. Fine, we say, we’re in a town at least! Turns out Castillos has the highest suicide rate in Uruguay, because there’s nothing to do there…
seriously.

Anyhow, we eventually made our way back to Montevideo, hooked up with the rest of our travel group and some new friends found in Punta del Diablo, and the new friends took us out for a fabulous Asado! It was a grand old party and we went out later and they sang me happy birthday in 6 languages!

Back to our familiar and comfortable hostel for the evening, and then we caught the Buquebus ferry home in the AM. Can you see how happy we are to be going home? It was a great trip, and I’d do it all again, but it certainly got a bit tense at times! For 9 people to head of on an adventure like that when half had only known one another for 24 hours is pretty crazy, but the fact that we all came home fabulous friends is a gift!

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Yes, so I realize that I’ve been mentioning this from time to time for several months now, but never formally introduced the big news!
ETA: Actually, I just read back through my posts and it looks like I never really did mention this, even though it’s been consuming my life.

I will be studying abroad in Buenos Aires, Argentina from the end of February through the end of July. It’s an interruption from my regular course of study, but I’m going to take the opportunity to complete some credits towards a Spanish minor, as all of my courses will be taught in Spanish while I’m there. This is a wonderful (albeit terrifying) opportunity for me and I have to admit I’m freaked out. This is definitely bigger than anything I have ever done in my life!

Because I’m going to be away during the festival season, I am having a sale right now in order to give people a chance to do any shopping they might have wanted to do over the summer. From now until February 15th I will take 20% off of any order of two items or more, and shipping is free for all purchases! 11:59 on February 15th I will close my shop in order to prepare for my departure on 2/20.

This is a sneak peak, before I completely finish my uploads, and send out an e-mail to my mailing list, so if you see something you like you may want to snap it up now, because I won’t be making more until next fall, and when I run out I run out!

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The Burn Out

I feel a little bit like this. (This being my very first car, which spontaneously burst into flames one day on my way home from work.)

I HATE this time of year. I hate it because it is the most beautiful time to live in New England, and yet I spend so much time in a melted puddle of anxiety and fatigue that I can’t appreciate it like everyone else can. I hate that I feel so disconnected, even though I know there are people who love my and think of me. I’m sleeping 8-10 hours a night, and I fell asleep for an hour in the library today. All I want to do is go home and sleep, even though I know that on top of my regular course reading and jewelry shows I have three tests and three papers and Salt and Pepper shakers to complete in the next two weeks. I think that all my determination to ignore this problem is going to have to bend, because I’m sick of being so unproductive and listless. I think it’s time to go sit on a sofa and have a chat with someone.

Do other people struggle with seasonal depression (because I suspect that’s what you’d call this)? Is anyone willing to share their experience, or what has worked for them?

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And this post is not professional, it’s just honest. Really this blog isn’t professional, because if it was I’d never write in it because I’m a human being, not a corporation.

I’m extremely busy. Unforgivably so, I think, though there’s no one to forgive but myself. I’ve taken on the roll of Fundraising Chair for the New Paltz chapter of Habitat for Humanity, and we’ve just purchased 15 spring break plane tickets to New Orleans. The total was a bit over $5000, which really isn’t bad until you realize that I’ve just signed myself up to figure out how to fundraise some $6000 total by early February or else we’re all going to get stuck with the bill. And 14 other people are depending on it.

This on top of a whole lot of school work that came up quite suddenly. (None of us, professors and students alike, quite realized it was midterm)

I love projects, and generally I’m thrilled to be busy and not have time to think about my emotions but this week they’re creeping in when there’s nothing I can do to stop them. I’d forgotten how it felt to be lonely, and now, surrounded by people ending relationships (seriously, 5 in the last week and a half) the reality of it is coming back pretty quick. On one hand I’m wishing I could lock myself away and not face it, cry a lot and mope about, but on the other I know that I’m too devoted to my life to stop doing what I love, and I would only hate myself more if I neglected myself.

What’s getting me is the anxiety. Am I capable of another relationship any time in the near future? Will I ever stop being anxious about being capable of another relationship? Will my anxiety about being anxious about being capable of another relationship prevent me from being capable of another relationship and thus will I forever be anxious about my abilities? Is Caleb okay? Will I always be scared of men? Why do I care if Caleb’s okay? Realistically I know that it will all be okay, but anxiety doesn’t work that way, it doesn’t follow logic, nor does it respond to it.

Where do you find energy in a time like this? How does one overcome anxiety without the meds? That’s the point of this post. Not to angst and whine, I just genuinely need some advice.

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