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Posts Tagged ‘SUNY NP’

Yes, so I realize that I’ve been mentioning this from time to time for several months now, but never formally introduced the big news!
ETA: Actually, I just read back through my posts and it looks like I never really did mention this, even though it’s been consuming my life.

I will be studying abroad in Buenos Aires, Argentina from the end of February through the end of July. It’s an interruption from my regular course of study, but I’m going to take the opportunity to complete some credits towards a Spanish minor, as all of my courses will be taught in Spanish while I’m there. This is a wonderful (albeit terrifying) opportunity for me and I have to admit I’m freaked out. This is definitely bigger than anything I have ever done in my life!

Because I’m going to be away during the festival season, I am having a sale right now in order to give people a chance to do any shopping they might have wanted to do over the summer. From now until February 15th I will take 20% off of any order of two items or more, and shipping is free for all purchases! 11:59 on February 15th I will close my shop in order to prepare for my departure on 2/20.

This is a sneak peak, before I completely finish my uploads, and send out an e-mail to my mailing list, so if you see something you like you may want to snap it up now, because I won’t be making more until next fall, and when I run out I run out!

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The Burn Out

I feel a little bit like this. (This being my very first car, which spontaneously burst into flames one day on my way home from work.)

I HATE this time of year. I hate it because it is the most beautiful time to live in New England, and yet I spend so much time in a melted puddle of anxiety and fatigue that I can’t appreciate it like everyone else can. I hate that I feel so disconnected, even though I know there are people who love my and think of me. I’m sleeping 8-10 hours a night, and I fell asleep for an hour in the library today. All I want to do is go home and sleep, even though I know that on top of my regular course reading and jewelry shows I have three tests and three papers and Salt and Pepper shakers to complete in the next two weeks. I think that all my determination to ignore this problem is going to have to bend, because I’m sick of being so unproductive and listless. I think it’s time to go sit on a sofa and have a chat with someone.

Do other people struggle with seasonal depression (because I suspect that’s what you’d call this)? Is anyone willing to share their experience, or what has worked for them?

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And this post is not professional, it’s just honest. Really this blog isn’t professional, because if it was I’d never write in it because I’m a human being, not a corporation.

I’m extremely busy. Unforgivably so, I think, though there’s no one to forgive but myself. I’ve taken on the roll of Fundraising Chair for the New Paltz chapter of Habitat for Humanity, and we’ve just purchased 15 spring break plane tickets to New Orleans. The total was a bit over $5000, which really isn’t bad until you realize that I’ve just signed myself up to figure out how to fundraise some $6000 total by early February or else we’re all going to get stuck with the bill. And 14 other people are depending on it.

This on top of a whole lot of school work that came up quite suddenly. (None of us, professors and students alike, quite realized it was midterm)

I love projects, and generally I’m thrilled to be busy and not have time to think about my emotions but this week they’re creeping in when there’s nothing I can do to stop them. I’d forgotten how it felt to be lonely, and now, surrounded by people ending relationships (seriously, 5 in the last week and a half) the reality of it is coming back pretty quick. On one hand I’m wishing I could lock myself away and not face it, cry a lot and mope about, but on the other I know that I’m too devoted to my life to stop doing what I love, and I would only hate myself more if I neglected myself.

What’s getting me is the anxiety. Am I capable of another relationship any time in the near future? Will I ever stop being anxious about being capable of another relationship? Will my anxiety about being anxious about being capable of another relationship prevent me from being capable of another relationship and thus will I forever be anxious about my abilities? Is Caleb okay? Will I always be scared of men? Why do I care if Caleb’s okay? Realistically I know that it will all be okay, but anxiety doesn’t work that way, it doesn’t follow logic, nor does it respond to it.

Where do you find energy in a time like this? How does one overcome anxiety without the meds? That’s the point of this post. Not to angst and whine, I just genuinely need some advice.

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Are you ever walking a walk you’ve walked a hundred times when the reality of your existence in that place hits you and you have to stop and say “whoaaa”? I live for those moments. Those are the moments when I realize a shift has happened. The Robin Marie that used to walk that walk is gone, and in that moment I recognize a new self. It may be the most minute shift, but it’s a shift none-the-less, and that means adventure!

The biggest reason this shift is exciting is that I’ve been really down, and this may mean an end to that, for the time being.

Additionally, someone should really buy me a copy of Be Here Now because it would make me exceedingly happy.

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Business Dilemma

To Business minor, or not to Business minor, this is the question.

I am torn. I have pretty much come to the conclusion that as an artist who intends to make a living I am going to need some business experience. If Soul of a Starving Artist is ever going to be something big I’m going to need to know what I’m doing. I refuse to be one of those spacey artists who never quite pulls it together. Lets face it, we aren’t the most business minded of folk. Now here’s the question. The requirements for a Business minor sound completely terrifying. I don’t know what most of this stuff means. Do I need it? Do I want it…? Would I be better off just picking and choosing my courses? My advisor is one of those artists who never quite pulled it together, so she’s not a hell of a lot of help.

I’m going to have to wrangle a business student and interrogate.

Cheers!

Robin Marie

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New Beginning

It’s been some time since I’ve actively participated in the blogging world. At one time the popularity of LiveJournal was thrilling, and keeping track of my high school buddies was a great excuse. LiveJournal was always a load of crap though, we all knew it, and now we’ve got MySpace and Facebook to do that for us, and they don’t need constant attention! My little working knowledge of this system is owed entirely to the genius of the one and only J. Farber and his Intro to Web Design course that I took…a million years ago.

I’m running a small business called Soul of a Starving Artist. I make jewelry, and for the most part it pays for itself, though not much more. I am a Metals major, at SUNY New Paltz, but I’m stuck in the foundation requirement BS that apparently everyone has to go through. It hurts, let me tell you, to know that I’m paying good money for professors who haven’t graduated, and don’t want to be there. This is not the standard of education my prep school pampered brain is used to. My farmer’s daughter work ethic isn’t happy either. What am I supposed to do with my time if I don’t have anything to study? This is currently my biggest gripe.

I have a great passion for art, and I am utterly impatient when something is holding me back from accomplishing my goals. I am stubborn as a mule, or my father, who I guess is sort of an ass, so really it’s all the same. I do love him though.

I am generally a happy person.

Cheers!

Robin Marie

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